requiem

last monday i had to have my pet put down. he was old, very very sick, and knew that it was his time. that cat taught me more about love, courage, and the PROPER use of determination than most people ever have, and for that matter quite possibly ever will. he stayed with me on the bed saturday night; the whole time he was purring and dying. as my dad said, i too hope that i'm purring when i die.

in the last year i've been divorced, mugged, and have moved a couple of times. in many ways this was harder than all of them, for the simple fact that i made the decision to end the life of one of my best friends. it was his time, no doubt; it was merciful; the ends justified the means; all living things die...so on and so on. i loved that cat with all of my heart, and still he loved me more.

i thought about getting another one, but have decided not to. my girlfriend is terribly allergic, there's a good chance that i will be relocating again in the next year or so, and i can barely afford my own healthcare, let alone that of another critter.
they say that when one door closes another door opens...or something like that. i also think that sometimes you have to stand in the hallway for a while.
for you, Ferdinand.

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shot to Kodak 320TXP with the Graflex; 1/100 f7.7 w/green(+2)filter and developed in D-76(1:1).